before i let you go

as always, a song to fit my mood. this is freestyle's first song, and it was a huge hit. the song's called "before i let you go"

I can still remember like yesterday

We were so in love in a special way

And knowing that your love

will make me feel oh so right

But now I feel lost,

don't know what to do

Each and every day I think of you

Holdin' back the tears,

I'm trying with all my might

Refrain:

Because you've gone and left me standing

All alone

And I know I've got to face tomorrow

On my own

But baby....

Chorus:

Before I let you go

I want to say I love you

I hope that you're listenin'

'Coz it's true,baby

You'll be forever in my heart

And I know that no one else will do,

yeah So before I let you goI want to say

.....I love you

Interlude:

I wish that it could be just like before

I know I could've given you so much more

Even though you know

I'd given you all my love

I miss your smile,

I miss your kiss

Each and every day I reminisce

'Coz baby it's you

That I'm always dreaming of...

Repeat Refrain

Repeat Chorus (except last 3 words)

Bridge:

Coz Letting love go is never easy

But I love you so

That's why I set you free

And I know

Someday

Somehow I'll find a way

To leave it all behind me

Guess it wasn't meant to be

But baby.........

Repeat chorus (except last 3 words)

So before I let you go

I want to say.......

I love you .

another year older...

another year, another birthday... oh well, it's not like i can actually stop it from happening right? so i might as well celebrate it to the fullest. but it's just not the same. i'm far from home, from my family, friends, even my pet! ***sigh*** what i'd give just to see them! what i'd give just to have darling's home cooked meals! what i'd give for a cake from goldilocks or red ribbon. guess i'll just have to wait for next year, no? hopefully, my situation will be better then. ok, i'm running out of words to say, so i'll just greet myself: HAPPY FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY!!!

kailan

***this song by the eraserheads has always been one of my faves from them (aside from "ang huling el bimbo", that is). it tells a tale of longing, which seems to be the mood that ive been lately.***

kailan
by the eraserheads

kailan mo ako hahagkan
matagal na akong naghihintay
nakadungaw sa bintana
mga dahon lang ang kumakaway

refrain
kailan ko madaramdaman
pagdampi ng iyong labi
tinatanong ko ang mga bituin
mga luhang humahalik sa aking pisngi

kailan ako tatahan
higpit ng yakap ng iyong dibdib
nakatingin ako sa salamin
may guhit sa noo
mapait ang ngiti

refrain
kailan ko masisilayan
sa araw-araw aking mahal
mula pag gising hanggang sa pag-idlip
kagandahan mo'y walang pati--d

kailan mo ako hahagkan
matagal na akong naghihintay
nakadungaw sa bintana
mga dahon lang ang kumakaway

refrain
kailan ako lalaya
sa anino ng pag-iisa
mga rehas lang ang tanaw
nanginginig sa seldang maginaw
woh-ho

what hurts the most by boyce avenue

***click on the link to watch boyce avenue singing this heartbreaking song***

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCq6Y3gTN7M

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' It

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to do

Ooohhh....

haiz...

stay away from me

dont you know that your smile affects me like
the impact of a meteor falling into earth at high speed?

that your every glance makes my heart roar like a
train speeding towards its destination?

that your niceness makes me want to weep with
the injustice of it all,
that you found her,
instead of me.

that i realized i like you,
no, that i love you,
when its all about to end.

stay away from me,
if you have a care for me at all.

if you dont want my heart shattering
into a thousand tiny pieces like porcelain,
never to be mended again.

stay away from me

for my peace of mind,
in hopes that someday, somehow,
ill find someone like you again

someone who is meant for me to find
like the way you found her,
the way you loved her.

feelings...falling...hopeless...lost

over the past few weeks, I've been facing a problem that, by rights, i should be able to post on this blog, since the main reason i created it in the first place was because i wanted an outlet where i can vent out all my feelings, whether it be frustration, anger, giddiness, hope or love. but ever since i told some friends about it's existence, i felt kinda shy to open up and just write whatever i want.

but now, with all the emotions just swirling inside me, threatening to blow up like a hurricane, i have no choice. i have to write, or risk having more than just a breakdown.

i think I'm falling...

for the last few weeks, I've been alternately telling myself that I'm falling, it's great! yey!...then...nope, it can't be, this is not how it's supposed to happen. i was just helping, that was it.

I've been in a state of hopeless denial since this thing this feeling, began, and once i started falling there was no stopping it. it's like slipping down the edge of a steep slope, then falling down a never ending abyss of darkness with no light, no hope, nothing but nothingness.

hopeless...

hopeless to do anything that will stop the slide down, nothing to grasp on for purchase, I'm alone in this, i chose this, i have to go on sliding till i hit rock bottom, if there is one.

don't get me wrong. he's great. that's the problem. if there was even a tiny bit of nastiness that i can find in him, maybe i can stop my treacherous heart from beating fast whenever he comes near, whenever he smiles, or even just look in my direction. but insofar as I've known him, there's nothing.

lost...

now, i found out something. that after everything, he's thinking of going back the same road he was in before this, my feelings, began. i know that i don't have the right to be angry, and I'm not, not really. I'm just a friend, lately a "guilty-friend-who-just-happens-to-have-feelings-for-him kind of friend", but still only a friend. I'm just disappointed. he can do better. he deserves better. it doesn't have to be me, but somebody who will feel the same feelings for him. somebody who will love him with all her heart, without reservations, without asking him to change one bit of his character just to please her, somebody who will love him unconditionally, because that's what he deserves, that's what everyone deserves.

...

now, i have to make ways to move on, even though it will hurt like hell. the time will come when i won't have to see him, and moving on now would mean that the hurt would lessen eventually when that time comes. it would hurt to smile at him like i don't know or feel anything, but i have to do it. he can't be suspicious. I'm a friend, so i will support him. if he's happy, then i will try to be happy for him. i hope he finds happiness this time, whether with the girl he wants right now, or in the future. i will try to be happy, for his sake. then i will try to find it within myself to accept that this wasn't for me.

guess I'm still the loser in the end.

one flaw in women

***i recently got this email from a friend, and i just wanted to share it to all women out there who might be reading this***

God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make youinto the person you were meant to be.

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

realize

realize
by colbie caillat

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.

Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I,
Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
Didn't I, didn't I tell you.

Take time to realize
This all can pass you by...
Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you,
No its never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
Just realized what I just realized
OoOoOOo

Missed out on each other now
Missed out on each other now

wonderwall

wonderwall
by oasis

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

and then i saw this...

FOODS THAT STEAL YOUR SLEEP

1. spicy foods- like garlic, chillies, cayenne and other spice stuff. msg too, it says it can trigger dreams that are a bit too vivid. (guilty! i like spicy food! spicy ramen anyone?)

2. a big dinner- hah!! (even more guilty!)

3. raucous veggies- aka as gassy veggies, like broccoli,beans,cauliflower,brussel sprouts. (ok, I'm fine w/ this one, we don't really get to eat lots of veggies, anyway!)

4. speed eating- uhmmm...fine, guilty as charged!i do sometimes eat fast. what can i say, the food tastes great, y'know?

5. nightcaps- i can deal without this, i only drink on occasions

6. coffee after breakfast- not really a coffee drinker either! i do enjoy it every once in a while though...

so, 3 out of 6? what more do i have to do to get my zzzzzs, dammit?!!!

help me get my zzzzzs!!!

for the past few months i've been getting less & less sleep than the vampires from twilight. im talking about 3-4 hours tops every night, and the stress & fatigue is showing. so everytime somebody gives me a suggestion on how to sleep better, i seriously, and i do mean seriously, consider it. so i was browsing msn today, and guess what? it has this article on the top 10 foods that will help me sleep better! hey, i thought, food & sleep! my top 2 fave things in the world! it says to nibble on any one of these stuff an hour before bedtime & i should be off to dreamland in no time. so here goes...

10 FOODS THAT HELP YOU GET YOUR ZZZZS

1. Half of a whole-wheat English muffin or raisin bagel drizzled with honey
2. Two cups of air-popped popcorn
3. A small slice of angel food cake topped with berries
4. A frozen whole-wheat waffle, toasted, with maple syrup
5. Half a cup of pretzels
6. Fresh strawberries dunked in a little fat-free chocolate syrup
7. Half a cup of pasta topped with marinara sauce
8. A 4-ounce baked potato topped with salsa
9. A handful of oyster crackers and a piece of fruit
10. Canned mandarin oranges sprinkled with crystallized ginger

***just a thought, just where the heck am i supposed to get these things? the strawberries & canned mandarin oranges i can get, but the others? wth! maybe i should just go back to counting sheep!***

para sa akin

***the song is by sitti navarro, a filipino bossa nova artist***

Para sa Akin


Kung ika'y magiging akin
Di ka na muling luluha pa
Pangakong di ka lolokohin
Ng puso kong nagmamahal

Kung ako ay papalarin
Na ako'y iyong mahal na rin
Pangakong ikaw lang ang iibigin
Magpakailanman

Di kita pipilitin
Sundin mo pang iyong damdamin
Hayaan nalang tumibok ang puso mo
Para sa akin

Kung ako ay mamalasin
At mayron ka nang ibang mahal
Ngunit patuloy ang aking pagibig
Magpakailanman

Di kita pipilitin
Sundin mo pang iyong damdamin
Hayaan nalang tumibok ang puso mo
Para sa akin

Kung ako ay papalarin
Na ako'y iyong mahal na rin
Pangakong ikaw lang ang iibigin
Magpakailanman

Di kita pipilitin
Sundin mo pang iyong damdamin
Hayaan nalang tumibok ang puso mo
Para sa akin

Di kita pipilitin
Sundin mo pang iyong damdamin
Hayaan nalang tumibok ang puso mo
Para sa akin... para sa akin

britain's got talent 2009

i've never been much of a fan when it comes to british tv or movies, but these past few weeks i've been watching britain's got talent largely in part because of susan boyle. but after the magic that she has dissipated somewhat, i began to search for other acts or talents that the show has. i have to say, there are some really talented blokes out there, such as dance acts flawless & diversity, kids who can really sing like shaheen jafargholi & holly steele, rocker-looking-but-opera-loving gregg pritchard & crowd phobic jamie pugh who also sang opera like susan. but what really got me glued to the pc was when i clicked on this guy named shaun smith. i must admit, i clicked on his name because the pic that came with the video showed a good looking guy, and, because i'm a girl who likes good looking guys, i watched the video.

boy, what a video, what a voice, what a HUNK!!! shucks!!! my jaw just about dropped to the floor when he started singing "ain't no sunshine" by bill withers. his voice is so cool, so smooth, i can just listen to him forever. i couldn't wait for the next round when he would sing again, so, about a week later, i searched for a new post in youtube and almost said "allelujah!" when it produced new videos from the semi finals. he sang "with or without you" by u2, not an easy song, but he did it flawlessly. sigh...dreamy sigh...=)

i can't waitfor the finals. i can't wait to see who's going to win. i'm kinda torn because i have to admit, it's hard to choose when there's so many good talents! but still, shaun smith, i love the boy...i meant his voice...what i meant was I...LOVE...HIS...VOICE!!! but, whatever, i think i'm developing a huge fangirl crush...wahaha!!!

rugby player+nice guy+nice voice+great body= every single girl's fantasy!!!

just click the links below if you want to watch shaun's performance on BGT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVgiJJsWbOE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXUqqLvEWN0

doing nothing

for the past 1 hour or so, i've been looking at this site i always frequent whenever i want to laugh. it's called cake wrecks, and its about,well, cakes in their mostly wrecked but often hilarious state. because of the foodie that i am, i can't help but be hungry when i look at the pictures, even though some of them are truly horrible, even disgusting to look at. but whatever, they're still cakes, which means i can still eat them! right? hahaha!!!

tomorrow, i'm off! yipee! finally, after what seemed like an eternity since my last day off (it's actually just 3 days, i think) i'm finally free to do everything and nothing at all...teehee... yup, will just laze around the house all day, probably watch a movie or two (or three, if i have the time). and maybe...do the laundry? weeeellll...ok, i'll think about it...tomorrow...

okay, ciao for now!
back to looking at cakes...

catch me, i'm fallin'

***disclaimer***
first of all, let me just state that claire made me do this. she's been singing this song for several days that it's just stuck in my head! so if this one is corny, well i'm sorry, you can blame claire, it's all her fault! =)

catch me, i'm fallin
by toni gonzaga

I don't know why
But when I look in your eyes
I feel something that seems so right
You've got yours
I've got mine
I think I'm loosing my mind
Cause I shouldn't feel this way

Catch me I'm falling for you
And I don't know what to do

How can something so wrong
Feel so right all along
Catch me I'm falling for you
How can time be so wrong
For love to come along
Catch me I'm falling for you

How can love let it grow
When it has no place to go
And I can't go along pretending
That love is in here to stay
Catch me I'm falling for you

If I could just walk away
Without you from day to day
I would die just thinkin' of you
I know we can never be
More than friends you and me
But why do I feel this way?

Catch I'm fallin' for you
And I don't know what to do

How can something so wrong
Feel so right all along
Catch me I'm falling for you
How can time be so wrong
For love to come along
Catch me I'm falling for you

Maybe someday I'll see
Why love did this to me
Coz I can't go along pretending
That love is in here to stay
Catch me I'm falling for you
Catch me I'm falling for you

And it's wrong for me
To feel this way
Coz I don't know what to
Do without you
I'm falling for you
Catch me I'm falling for you

How can something so wrong
Feel so right all along
Catch me I'm falling for you

love song

love song
by 311/the cure

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am home again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am whole again

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am young again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am fun again

however far away
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you

whatever words i say
i will always love you
i will always love you

whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am free again
whenever i'm alone with you
you make me feel like i am clean again

however far away
i will always love you
however long i stay
i will always love you
whatever words i say
i will always love you
i will always love you

waiting all my life...

everyday, on my way to work, i always make it a point to listen to music on my phone, partly to while away the time commuting and partly to chase the boredom away. recently, although on shuffle mode, my phone just keeps going back to this song by US country band rascall flatts. and, as is my custom, i tried to pinpoint exactly how this song affects my life. well, surprisingly, or maybe not at all, it affects it pretty much in a huge way. let's put it this way, i've been waiting ALL my life to find YOU, that one person who can make me whole, who can cover up all the gaping holes that need filling. just where the heck are you??!! =)

waiting all my life

by rascall flatts

Everybody needs it

Everybody wants it

Everybody's searching for someone

Been down a thousand highways

I never thought would end

Baby, I've been

[Chorus]

Waiting all my life to find you

Always been one step behind you

Your love babe

I've been waiting all my life

I was tired of waiting

Every night was praying

Everyday would be the day I'd find you

I grew so impatient, how long would it take

To know you were out there somewhere

Somewhere waiting, wondering just like me

[Second Chorus]

I've been waiting all my life to love you

All that time I was dreaming of you

Your love babe

I've been waiting all my life

And did I lose faith, did I lose heart

Maybe I did, but I never lost my way

To where you are-I've been

[Repeat Chorus]

[Repeat Second Chorus]

Your love I've been waiting

Your love I've been waiting all my life

All my life, all my life

i'll be over you

i'll be over you
by: Toto

some people live their dreams,
some people close their eyes,
some people's destiny
passes by

there are no guarantees
there are no alibis
that's how our love must be
don't ask why

it takes some time
God knows how long
i know that i can forget you

as soon as my heart stops breaking
anticipating
as soon as forever is through
i'll be over you

remembering times gone by
promises we once made
what are the reasons why
nothing stays the same

there were the nights
holding you close
someday i'll try to forget them
someday i'll be over you

tonight i can write the saddest lines

Tonight I can write the saddest lines
by Pablo Neruda

Write for example,
'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.

'The night wind revolves
in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her,
and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one
I held her in my arms.

I kissed her again and again
under the endless sky.

She loved me,
sometimes I loved her too.

How could one not have loved
her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her.

To feel that I have lost her.
To hear immense night,
still more immense without her.

And the verse falls to the soul
like dew to a pasture.

What does it matter that my love
could not keep her.

The night is shattered
and she is not with me.
This is all.

In the distance
someone is singing.

In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied
that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her
as though to go to her.

My heart looks for her,
and she is not with me.

The same night whitening
the same trees.

We, of that time,
are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain,
but how I loved her.

My voice tried to find the wind
to touch her hearing.

Another's.
She will be another's.
Like my kisses before.

Her voice.
Her bright body.
Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her,
that's certain,
but maybe I love her.

Love is short,
forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one
I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied
that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain
that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses
that I write for her.

10 things i hate about you

when i was in college, there was this movie called "10 things i hate about you" which is an adaptation of shakespeare's "taming of the shrew". back then, although i love reading & shakespeare, it was a pain having to read words that's just too deep for even me to comprehend. i basically need a dictionary everytime i tried to read any one of shakespeare's works (i still do). so whenever there were modern movie adaptations of his works, like romeo & juliet (my fave!) w/ leonardo di caprio & claire danes, she's the man w/ amanda bynes and 10 things i hate about you w/ heath ledger & julia stiles, i always, always make a point to watch it.

i loved this movie. it was the first time i ever watched julia stiles & heath ledger and i thought their chemistry was so good, you'll almost think they're not acting. i also loved the poem that julia's character recites at the end of the movie. it kinda reflects almost the same way i'm feeling now. i guess you can interpret that last sentence any way you'd like, but here's the poem. read it, and then watch the film, and then maybe you'd also get to appreciate shakespeare's genius like i do.

10 things i hate about you

I hate the way you talk to me,

and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around,

and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,

not even close,

not even a little bit,

not even at all.

soulmate

Soulmate
by Natasha Bedingfield

Incompatible, it dont matter though
'Cause someone's bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do, you're not easy to find

Is it possible, Mr Loveable is already in my life?
Right in front of me or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit?
There's enough for everyone
But I'm still waiting in line

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Oh, Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Shawn's leaving!

shawn, why are you leaving us?! okay, fine, we all know it's so you can continue your studies, but do you really have to resign?! why? why ha?
anyway, as promised, here are the pictures showing just how crazy you are. we're all gonna miss your wackiness and also all the advice you give. thanks for all the help, mr. spikey!

shawn, the water boy

with claire's bag...

with my bag...

and with rovie's bag!

wishing you all the luck!

p.s.

take care of rae ha?

we're all happy for you guys!